How should I start? Where should I start? I don't even know how I am currently feeling. It's just that there is this big throbbing pain in my chest. It's like something is not right and I am out of my wits to solve it.
I thought things should smooth sail from the last time. It was suppose to be easier when things are said and discussed. But why do I feel it is not? It's like the weight of the world is upon me, and I am not allowed to do mistakes. Not Allowed, no room for discussion, end of story. Hey, I am not saying I am an angel, but a little bit of understanding and coaching would helped better.
Last two weeks was great, I was very very happy like I never felt before. I felt like the pricess in the fairy tales that I used to worship. I did not expect that I cud feel that happy before. Alhamdulillah, I did. Sometimes I thought, was dis a dream? And kept remind myself that it is not. I was genuinely happy and grateful to Allah for giving me the opportunity to feel like this.
Maybe, the fact that I am feeling that the happiness slipping away made me feel like this now. I am just hoping and praying hard that it is not true, it is just a blip. A small blip kamy, the happy thots and feelings will come back.. I hope coz I can't bear feeling like this. If I am the source of the blip, I wish I could turn back time and make it better. If only...
Monday, September 15, 2008
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
9 Ramadhan.. Time flies..
How time flies, it is already the 9th day of Ramadhan... Banyak lagi yg tak terbuat in terms of amal ibadah. Today went to Ceramah Ramadhan. Ustaz Dasuki was the speaker. The thing is the gist was simple - about sahur, puasa, berbuka puasa & tarawikh. But it made me realize I am so far from fulfilling the perfect score of Ramadhan. As he said, two things to be taken care: taking care of the physical puasa & taking care of the Pahala Puasa. There's this one part where he sang the zikir, it was so touching and hit me in the heart, my eyes was filled with water. I really do hope to be a better person after getting out of the Ramadhan Academy.
Hem. I gotta go. Will update later.
Hem. I gotta go. Will update later.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
It has been 7 months, 16 days since I last blog..
Well, it has been that long. A lot had happened in my life since then. Too many I guess coz I don't know where to start. Ada orang siap kutuk2 dah pasal blog yang tak berjalan nieh..:) so I guess, I'll just fastforward my life and share key highlites - haha, cam la glamer sangat.
Work - Still working at the same department & division in Proton Edar. Guess if you ask my family, they would not be able to tell what is my current job is. I am actually managing a department - Customer Satisfaction Index & Customer Database. So, in a nutshell, what we do is gauging customer satisfaction for our product, sales outlets & service outlets, retention activities with customers and looking after customer database & CIC system that is currently being used in our call center. Well, work is OK, I guess. I am currently enjoying what I do and the group of people in my team is great! My team just expanded - to 14 pax now. I am still adjusting to the bigger number and still trying to find the best formula to manage and coach the team. Mid year review is coming up end of this month - hopefully everything is on track. Ameen...
New office laptop - still under work. Got a new one after 5 years. Was difficult to say good bye to the DELL.
Holidays - Hem, this year I have been managing my Annual Leave better. Few more days from 2007 to be utilized! Last July went to Manila with my folks & sister. It was a fun trip and made me appreciate my country more and more and more. Lain-lain tuh jalan-jalan biasa ajer la. Last month took 3 days leave yang betul2 leave, sbb tak datang office. Heh.
The big 3-0! - Yeah guys, crossed the 3-0 line last two weeks. What I wished for? To still achieve few goals in life yang belum achieve.... and of course to be a better person and better hamba-Nya. Ni akan bukak tajuk spesel Big 3-0! hehe. Yang menarik tahun ni, sambut the birthday with my 1 year old nephew, so orang yg datang tuh terpaksa bawak adiah for the mak long also.. hahaha. nice trick anyway, can still do that for another 10 years or so, kan hariz??
New hobbies - Start taking kick-boxing classes and found that I love it. Actually it is part of my regime to lose weight. Ouch, losing weight is part of my target for the last 4 months of this year. All the stress has made me heavier, ouch! Blame it on the stress hahaha.
New challenge (stories of the heart) - for the past 3-4 days, something had happened that impacted me so. I am still in awe or disbelief or anything in the same meaning of those words. But, one thing is for sure, I have to decide the best thing for myself and everyone too. Insya Allah.. this challenge will pass in the best way it could. I am praying hard for it.
Will blog again soon.. I hope.
Work - Still working at the same department & division in Proton Edar. Guess if you ask my family, they would not be able to tell what is my current job is. I am actually managing a department - Customer Satisfaction Index & Customer Database. So, in a nutshell, what we do is gauging customer satisfaction for our product, sales outlets & service outlets, retention activities with customers and looking after customer database & CIC system that is currently being used in our call center. Well, work is OK, I guess. I am currently enjoying what I do and the group of people in my team is great! My team just expanded - to 14 pax now. I am still adjusting to the bigger number and still trying to find the best formula to manage and coach the team. Mid year review is coming up end of this month - hopefully everything is on track. Ameen...
New office laptop - still under work. Got a new one after 5 years. Was difficult to say good bye to the DELL.
Holidays - Hem, this year I have been managing my Annual Leave better. Few more days from 2007 to be utilized! Last July went to Manila with my folks & sister. It was a fun trip and made me appreciate my country more and more and more. Lain-lain tuh jalan-jalan biasa ajer la. Last month took 3 days leave yang betul2 leave, sbb tak datang office. Heh.
The big 3-0! - Yeah guys, crossed the 3-0 line last two weeks. What I wished for? To still achieve few goals in life yang belum achieve.... and of course to be a better person and better hamba-Nya. Ni akan bukak tajuk spesel Big 3-0! hehe. Yang menarik tahun ni, sambut the birthday with my 1 year old nephew, so orang yg datang tuh terpaksa bawak adiah for the mak long also.. hahaha. nice trick anyway, can still do that for another 10 years or so, kan hariz??
New hobbies - Start taking kick-boxing classes and found that I love it. Actually it is part of my regime to lose weight. Ouch, losing weight is part of my target for the last 4 months of this year. All the stress has made me heavier, ouch! Blame it on the stress hahaha.
New challenge (stories of the heart) - for the past 3-4 days, something had happened that impacted me so. I am still in awe or disbelief or anything in the same meaning of those words. But, one thing is for sure, I have to decide the best thing for myself and everyone too. Insya Allah.. this challenge will pass in the best way it could. I am praying hard for it.
Will blog again soon.. I hope.
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