When we talk about relationship, we always talk about give and take, understand one another or try to fill in the other's shoes. But in reality, it does not work that way. "When I lose my mood, then everything should follow my way. No excuses, no apologies or no explanation accepted whatever it is. "
Wow, I am pretty impressed with myself after all these years. I just let people ripped my heart and then mend it myself. Nobody gives a damn how I feel after being treated that way. I know, I have make mistakes, I am not perfect. But the fact that you don't give any consideration of other people's misery or troubles but only yours, it just makes me feel worthless to you.
At the end of the day, I'll always fix myself, mend myself. It made me wonder, do you even care about me at all? Or convenience?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Support System
Hey all, or whoever who actually read my stuff... I guess the first sentence already shows that I am not in a good mood or condition or what ever you call it.
A lot of things had happen lately that make me wonder, "what the hell I am doing????". Truly, I don't have any answers for any questions that popped in my head. I tried and tried and tried, but the response that I get is soooooo demotivating and down right ripped my entire heart into pieces. I am talking about support system, which in this case - non-existant.
Is it just me that hoped that when you care about someone, you have to be the shoulder for them to cry on, not give them more crap? Why? What did I do to deserve this treatment? There were always NO sorries, NO thank yous, NO appreciate it. But I still try to cover the feelings that I have when it happened. But today, NO shoulder to cry on when I needed it the most? Come on, I am human being and I do have feelings. No shoulder is one thing, but to continue to make me feel crapier than before? That's just cruel. Plain cruel.
I don't know why. I've tried everything to make things better. I did everything I cud to make everything fine, comfortable and do whatever been asked of me, even did go extra miles to ensure things happen. At the end of the day, NONE is appreciated. Maybe I am just dead beat. I am too tired being ignored and not appreciated. I need my shoulder to cry on, why can't just you be that some times when I need it the most?
A lot of things had happen lately that make me wonder, "what the hell I am doing????". Truly, I don't have any answers for any questions that popped in my head. I tried and tried and tried, but the response that I get is soooooo demotivating and down right ripped my entire heart into pieces. I am talking about support system, which in this case - non-existant.
Is it just me that hoped that when you care about someone, you have to be the shoulder for them to cry on, not give them more crap? Why? What did I do to deserve this treatment? There were always NO sorries, NO thank yous, NO appreciate it. But I still try to cover the feelings that I have when it happened. But today, NO shoulder to cry on when I needed it the most? Come on, I am human being and I do have feelings. No shoulder is one thing, but to continue to make me feel crapier than before? That's just cruel. Plain cruel.
I don't know why. I've tried everything to make things better. I did everything I cud to make everything fine, comfortable and do whatever been asked of me, even did go extra miles to ensure things happen. At the end of the day, NONE is appreciated. Maybe I am just dead beat. I am too tired being ignored and not appreciated. I need my shoulder to cry on, why can't just you be that some times when I need it the most?
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