Support System

Hey all, or whoever who actually read my stuff... I guess the first sentence already shows that I am not in a good mood or condition or what ever you call it.

A lot of things had happen lately that make me wonder, "what the hell I am doing????". Truly, I don't have any answers for any questions that popped in my head. I tried and tried and tried, but the response that I get is soooooo demotivating and down right ripped my entire heart into pieces. I am talking about support system, which in this case - non-existant.

Is it just me that hoped that when you care about someone, you have to be the shoulder for them to cry on, not give them more crap? Why? What did I do to deserve this treatment? There were always NO sorries, NO thank yous, NO appreciate it. But I still try to cover the feelings that I have when it happened. But today, NO shoulder to cry on when I needed it the most? Come on, I am human being and I do have feelings. No shoulder is one thing, but to continue to make me feel crapier than before? That's just cruel. Plain cruel.

I don't know why. I've tried everything to make things better. I did everything I cud to make everything fine, comfortable and do whatever been asked of me, even did go extra miles to ensure things happen. At the end of the day, NONE is appreciated. Maybe I am just dead beat. I am too tired being ignored and not appreciated. I need my shoulder to cry on, why can't just you be that some times when I need it the most?