Monday Bluess...

Well, what can I say.. IT IS MONDAY! But honestly I did not expect it will turn out this way today. In between someone hinted that I am not dependable and to some other people telling me that I am fat, I could not even find a way to feel positive about today.

Well, I guess I just have to take that slap in the face, apologize (if required) and move on with my life. Really not feeling good about myself at the moment, feeling extremely fat and highly emotional. What a combination, ya?

Last weekend was a mixed feeling weekend. My brother's father in law passed away on Saturday.. Takziah to Uncle Wan's family. Semoga Rohnya Dicucuri Rahmat. Sitting there during the funeral really taught me some things. I guess I am scared if something happen to my dad. There are still things to do, to say, to share and lots of love to be given. Hence, people, spread the love today, before it is too late......

I figured out something last weekend during the funeral. One of the things I love about the person I love is he is so adaptable to situation. He is so natural in some ways and also pure. That's why I love him, I guess. I also learnt some things about hiding feelings and expressing them in a totally puzzling manner.. Haha..What am I rambling about here??

Anyways, the story about not be dependable enough, just say that I delivered something that is not timely enough and it happened to cancel other people's plan. Man, did I screwed up or what. It was a total mess, I felt so horrible. But to top that horrible feeling, is that someone said that I am not dependable. It's like icing on the cake, a bad cake that is. I still can feel the nausea in my stomach - the guilt. He did not have to slapped me in the face with that statement. But hey, maybe I deserved it. I guess the saying, 'one mistake can erase all the good' is some how true. I felt every good things have been erased by this mistake. I feel bad for not delivering up to the expectations. I just hope that deep inside the people can find a way to forgive me rather than avoiding me.

About being fatty and all, I don't know what is wrong with my metabolisme.. IT is too DAMN slow... Hope that this new challenge will renew my WILL POWER to some how shed a lot of KILOS..

OK guys, will update later.. It is work time.. Chiow!