Another day, another thot...

As of now, it has been a quite fruitful day for me. I started the day by updating a site that needs to be kinda launched tomorrow. As all of you may notice, I am very lah not creative mahupun good in words, hence it was a challenge for me. But I think for tomorrow's thingy, it has been approved so I guess I can take rest now. Hahaha.

After completing that, I got to meet few staff of mine for their coaching session. We have this session once in every two months. This session is for one-to-one, heart-to-heart discussion with the staff regarding their performance, highlighting issues and planning improvement activities. I suppose the 2 sessions today did give me some points to improve too! It also gives more chances for me to get to know them better.

As promised, my backlog updates on the next item:

1.2 Family & Friends

25th August 2007 - Our family was blessed with the birth of my nephew - Muhammad Ikmal Hariz Bin Muhammad Kamal. He weighs 2.7kg (and a lot heavier now!!). Of coz, at this point of time, he is the center of attention from everyone! Hariz is so putih melepak, when he menggeliat, every inch of him is in RED! hehe.. Anyway, the mummy menjalani pantang in Kelana Jaya, hence I got to kacau him everyday after work. But it is not that easy when everyone is fighting to get rights to hold him! Tak pe lah, Mak Long will kidnap you when you are bigger kay Hariz, kita jalan2 sampai Genting ke mana ker.. Hehehe

The younger sister is in Gombak kampus now. So, the Kelisa is officially used by her now to commute. My brother and sis-in-law is planning to continue study in UKM. Hence, they may stay in kelana jaya to commute to Cheras. So, the house is meriah kembali with people. Everyone will be in - its my parents' dreams come true!

I learnt that by having friends from different background and profile, it will spice up your life! And I mean it in a positive way laa of coz. I am having fun learning to know new people. But of coz, the close ones remain special in my heart. Even if they don't still feel the same way towards you. I guess sometimes, you cannot win it all. You tried and tried to make things better between you and your friend, but hey friendship works 2-ways, they need the other side to respond. Entahla, berserah sahaja kepada-Nya. Friendship ni cam Jodoh gak I guess, kalau dah tak de jodoh, nak buat macam mana kan? But, deep inside, I will always pray things will get better day to day.

I think friends are important assets to me. I 'll have this lonely feeling when I am not around one. Alhamdulillah I am blessed with good friends, best friends, and bestest friends in my life. They always support me and also guide me. To my appointed Advisors out there, you know who you are, and you are always needed by me! Hahaha.. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. To my friends, I love you all and Hanya Allah dapat membalas budi baik anda semua. The best gift I can offer is my prayers to all of you.

Ok, rest time, break time.. Till we meet again......

Sacrifice..

I dunno what got into me this evening. I guess some reflection from a conversation I had before this. It was just a simple declining statement towards an offer. But it made me think again and again. Why is it so hard for us to sacrifice for a person we say we love? Sometimes, I just need to feel appreciated. Hati manusia ini rapuh, orang yang sabar pun kadangkala menagih simpati untuk meminta agar hatinya dijaga sekali sekala.....

Maybe I am not that important to you, or top your priority list. Maybe, just maybe....

Okay.. I am tooo farrr behind in updating

Hi guys, yeah enough already with that stares. I know, I have been very lazy in the updating department. But, I guess nowadays time just flies too fast, without us realizing it. "Demi Masa, sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian....." I guess it's not about how much time we have, but the fulfillment of the time, how you use them or waste them.

It took a while for me to start writing back. Some of my dearest frens pon dah bertanya-tanya, is there something wrong? hehe Sorry guys, I guess I have been drifting away with things in my life: work, family, friends, personal, love, hobbies, national news and interest, blah blah blah.. (Alasan semua tuh...). So I will start this posting by segment lah kot...Please bear with me.

Item 1.1 Work

Yeah.. work.. Nothing's new in work department I guess. One of the most significant thing in work is that one of my projects been KIV. I hate that word. Not that we do not have the budget, it's just that do we want to spend it now. At first, I was quite frustrated with that decision. mana tak, dah siap tender semua, tinggal appoint and jalan project ajer. So, what I did? I took leave for few days and travel North. Beli teket Air Asia semua.. lawak betul. Pegi sambil menenangkan fikiran and carik inspirasi bak kata orang. I left everything work-related at office and did not think about it during the whole trip.

Did it do me good? Yeah it did. When I got back to office, I have this new refreshing feeling. Got new dimension and ideas to work out the whole thing again. I did some small discussion on it, and got some pat on the back for it. It feels really good. :)

Other than that, there's this one high-profile project that I am doing rite now. It kinda need me to work cross-functionally with other departments and do communication on it. For me, it is a very good opportunity to actually do people networking and also show what we can offer. I was always a strong believer in teamwork and also treating people and observing people. There are a lot of things that I have learnt in this process and Alhamdulillah I am blessed to be given this opportunity.

Next on the menu - Managing People. I am learning and still learning in this area. It is a big chunk of my current responsibility, having 10 staff reporting to me. But, honestly , I love my team. The strong point of my team - we are 11 unique individuals blessed in variety of talents that binds us together. We won best team in our last teambuilding. I was VERY VERY proud. Target: Best section 07/08. Ameen.

However, today, I am kinda of blurrr.. Dugaan bulan Ramadhan ni. Like Najib said yesterday, Ramadhan sepatutnya kita lebih produktif. Ok-lah Najib, I am trying to be one, by actually updating my blog after nearly thousand centuries. hahahaha..

In summary of the work thingy, I guess after nearly 6 plus years working, I have learnt a lot of things. But I know, that is only a small part of working life. Banyak lagik kena makan garam. But I am blessed coz I have great support system and the most important point: YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR JOB FUN!!

Ok guys, sign off. C u later in my next item update.

Yeah I know, it has been a while

Yeah yeah yeah, I know.. It has been a while since I update my blog. I guess I've been busy lately. There are like tonnes of work (what else is new?), and also of coz my internal emotional war within myself. But I guess, no complaint there.. It is LIFE!

What seems to be interesting ya? Oh ya, me going to Kota Bharu tomorrow for Proton Customer Day. I am feeling a little bit worried bout being emcee this time because I could not yet imagine how the crowd would be. And I could not speak Kelantan.. to make things a little bit difficult. haha.. but it is challenge and I have to take it. Bring it ON!!

Things are getting serious lately on the relationship meter.. I hope this is where the direction will be.. Aminn.. We can only plan, but at the end of the day, it is up to HIM. Hence, we need to continuously seek His help and guidance.

Aaaaaa.. Too many things, will update later people!!

Monday Bluess...

Well, what can I say.. IT IS MONDAY! But honestly I did not expect it will turn out this way today. In between someone hinted that I am not dependable and to some other people telling me that I am fat, I could not even find a way to feel positive about today.

Well, I guess I just have to take that slap in the face, apologize (if required) and move on with my life. Really not feeling good about myself at the moment, feeling extremely fat and highly emotional. What a combination, ya?

Last weekend was a mixed feeling weekend. My brother's father in law passed away on Saturday.. Takziah to Uncle Wan's family. Semoga Rohnya Dicucuri Rahmat. Sitting there during the funeral really taught me some things. I guess I am scared if something happen to my dad. There are still things to do, to say, to share and lots of love to be given. Hence, people, spread the love today, before it is too late......

I figured out something last weekend during the funeral. One of the things I love about the person I love is he is so adaptable to situation. He is so natural in some ways and also pure. That's why I love him, I guess. I also learnt some things about hiding feelings and expressing them in a totally puzzling manner.. Haha..What am I rambling about here??

Anyways, the story about not be dependable enough, just say that I delivered something that is not timely enough and it happened to cancel other people's plan. Man, did I screwed up or what. It was a total mess, I felt so horrible. But to top that horrible feeling, is that someone said that I am not dependable. It's like icing on the cake, a bad cake that is. I still can feel the nausea in my stomach - the guilt. He did not have to slapped me in the face with that statement. But hey, maybe I deserved it. I guess the saying, 'one mistake can erase all the good' is some how true. I felt every good things have been erased by this mistake. I feel bad for not delivering up to the expectations. I just hope that deep inside the people can find a way to forgive me rather than avoiding me.

About being fatty and all, I don't know what is wrong with my metabolisme.. IT is too DAMN slow... Hope that this new challenge will renew my WILL POWER to some how shed a lot of KILOS..

OK guys, will update later.. It is work time.. Chiow!

Vitamin Z Deficiency

Lately I feel so sleepy and tired.. It does not help when I stayed up just to watch Qabil Khusry Qabil Igam last two days. What was I thinking? Haha... Really need a good shut eye..maybe this weekend.. maybe never.. haha..

Lots of things happened since I last wrote in the blog. Last Thursday, had dinner with some of my best girl friends at one of the best restaurant in KJ - Aladdin. Love the food there.... Did not had lunch earlier, so like that night like order everything. Thank God all of us were starving.. jadi.. LICIN semua.. :) Forgot about DIET and anything related to WEIGHT masa tuh.

Friday night, went to my college seniors wedding, only to find out how near was her house to my office. Nampak sangat lah ignorant nyer.. Ate dinner and then got a cake at nearby bakery for my auntie. So early Saturday morning, had a birthday party for her..Last weekend was a family weekend for us. We went shopping for our raya outfits - this year's theme : Orange & Purple. Then watched Shrek in KLCC. On Sunday, early morning go catching our cats - to send for Kembiri. Then Low Yatt to buy notebook for the "Little One". Lucky her.. When I was her age, mana lah ada notebook nih..

Sunday evening, came in office and do some stuff. Then, siapkan myself in the Surau and went of to Sheraton Subang for my best friend's wedding. Lin, your wedding reception was beautiful and you are beautiful too! Congratulations to both of you.

Monday till now.. Kerja Kerja Kerja..Someone told me that I looked damned tired. I guess I do. Sleep deprived and lots of thinking job.. I feel like a ZOMBIE right now. But why am I still here? I don't know why.. haha.. I guess I need a pay rise. Yeah right...

So people, something that I found out today.. Sometimes when you think highly of a person, it can dissapoint you. Sometimes you feel that some other people should learn how to manage other people feelings, especially when you seek their assistance. You could be a near perfect person, but hey man, a simple math - when you ask for something nicely, you will get it nicely.

Chiow for now.. trying to think about something that may change my career direction.. haha.

Proton Surges On News Of Partnership, Investors Still Cautious Business, June 07, 2007 16:53 PM

Is it for real now? We have waited long enough...

KUALA LUMPUR, June 7 (Bernama) -- Proton Holdings Bhd, which was up sharply this morning on news that it is close to forging a partnership with Volkswagen, remained high in the afternoon although Sime Darby denied it is buying Khazanah Nasional Bhd's 43 percent stake in the national carmaker.The surge in Proton shares is not a surprise as it is a reaction of investors who now would welcome any partner for the ailing national carmaker after a long and complicated search for a partner to help it to turn around, a dealer noted.The shares of the national carmaker rose to a high of RM7.05 this morning after reports said Volkswagen is likely to take equity and management control of its key operations.At 3.56pm, Proton was traded 60 sen higher at RM6.45 while Proton call warrants rose 25.5 sen to 89.5 sen.The price is still below the RM7.00 - RM9.00 fair value for Proton shares put forward by research houses. For instance, RHB said the fair value for Proton is at RM8.60.An analyst said investors are generally cautious and awaiting further details considering the difficulty Proton faced in clinching a partnership deal in the past.According to news report, Volkswagen will acquire a 51 percent stake in a new company which will hold Proton's assets such as manufacturing, research & development, engineering and also its UK unit, Lotus.Proton will retain its distribution unit, it added.-- BERNAMA

Wishing for the stars...

Aiyak.. actually yesterday I wrote quite a long entry but sadly the network weng during saving the post and wallaaaaa... my long sad mushy entry is gone. Aiseh, cannot replicate my feelings at that time, yet sadly I am still on the not feeling good time of the year.. *Sigh*

I have this feeling that I have been walking on a very long street and suddenly come to a possible dead end. During the long walk, been through a lot, sacrifice a lot, had fun, had tears shed, etc etc. And BAMMM!!! Walked into a wall, where I am rite now. I think my mind started to feel fear, started to feel that I am not going to get what I wished for. The indicators are like flashing like mad in my eyes but I felt like out of control. Starting to feel more sensitive to every single little things. But hey, I think some of the things - I DESERVE IT! hehe that's my selfish side writing.

But hey, my fren said and I quote, "Kalau kita nak membina, mmg susah dan payah. Tapi kalau nak runtuhkan, dalam sekelip mata ajer boleh jadi". I am holding to that thot. Eventhough I was distracted by series of questions throwed to me yesterday - R U Sure with your choice? R U ready with everything? Think wisely.......

My answer now - Entahlah....I really don't know. The creepy feelings I thot I never had is filling my head. My heart is aching and head spinning. Just please show me, tell me, everything is going to be OK, everything is going to be as planned.

Ya Allah, tunjukkan lah jalannya....

The crappy feelings continue...

Well, what can I say.. the day just became a little bit crappier today as much as I tried to put positive things and thoughts into it.. I am a positive person, I think, but what happened today just not as what I really wished.

Have you ever felt that you have tried everything you could for someone, and at the end of the day, you feel that it was soooo wasted? Well, that is how I am feeling at this point of time. I think the effort that I meant started so longgg ago, a year maybe.. But today I learnt something. Sometimes you can kiss the land for that some one, the land which he is walking on, and yet it meant crap to him. It is just so tiring, energy consuming, not to even start on thinking on the other things consumed. Ahhh, Malas lah! Knowing me, I will just forget and forgive after this. Unspoken but still hurt like hell.

So, here I am again in the office, coming in the night shift. Haha, cam team breadown assist lak. A little bit here and there needs to be updated and completed so that I can have a happy life tomorrow. (Doubt it!) Not to complaint, but maybe today is not a GOOD day for me, so it effects everything.

Never-mind lah. Just trying my best to complete today.

Hope for a better tomorrow. Insya Allah.

Sweet memories

Hello & Mornin everyone! Feeling a little bit crappy this morning due to feeling of sickness in this big head of mine. Can feel the veins trobbing like mad, saying hey don't wake up.. we want to continue to bang your head. So, I guess, lemme zzzzz for a while. Hence, to be continuedzzzzzz...... Good people in office.. I'll try to be back soon.

La La La

Singing in the rain.. It is raining again, hope KL will not be flooded today. Then it will be damned jammed in the KL. Luckily I am not in KL. Sometimes I salute people who commute to KL. How do they do it?

It took me that LONG!

Well, if you see my last post date, it was somewhere in 2004. Don't change your screen or even try to refresh your page. It is TRUE!!

It took me nearly 3 years to write again after registering my blog. I wonder why. People keep asking me for my blog.. I have one but again nothing is there. Hence after a "pembakar semangat" speech by a long friend of mine, I re-open this blog.

The truth was, I am afraid that I am not interesting enough. That is funny rite? My friend said just now - its your blog, write what you want, why let others intimidate you. She's right. I guess deep down I always fear that I will be seen as shallow. Hahaha.. maybe in some sense that is true.

But dear readers, I hope that this will be a start to a beautiful blogging experience. 4th June 2007.. here I come, blog world.

Hope the next post is not written in 2010. I only wish.

Weekend Log (27-28 Nov 2004)

Weekend datang lagi. I love weekends. Since this was a weekend in Syawal.. Open House, Weddings, Kenduri Haji. In short, MACAM MACAM ADA. Invited friends to come Raya on Saturday. Love the girls! Enjoyed the reunion!

My kittens are growing fast. Now they keep roaming around in the kitchen. So cute, macam nak makan atau buat sate ajer. Haha.

Me, Myself and I
Can life be that crazy?

Cuba Cuba

Well, I am not a good writer.. I know that. But, I don't know, I love to try new things. That I know.