It's kinda weird to feel this way during the Aidilfitri, where you are surrounded by your loved ones. But unfortunately, this is exactly how I am feeling right now. Well, when everybody else have their own "things" to do, it left me with nothing to do or talk to or apa2 lah. Hence, that feeling slowly crept inside me.
The thing about this feeling, it starts to make your brain to work, thinking about things you dont want to really think. (am i making sense??) other than that it also give you time to remember the bad things people or specifically a person said to you. The harsh words seemed so fresh in my mind - i cannot sleep yesterday. i dont know, up until now, i am still so forgiving for all the words thrown at me.
i dont know. i really dont know what will happen. one thing i know, whatever happens, these words will remain buried in my heart. maybe, one day some people will understand that you could not undo your words.
i just want to be happy with the people i love. i want a life that is blessed by Him. i pray to Him to show me the right path & to show others that this is not the right way to treat people.
hope tomorrow will be a better day & a happier one.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Salam Aidilfitri!
Sedar tak sedar, Aidilfitri menjelma lagi. Man, so fast! Tak sedar pun dah berpuasa hampir 30 hari dah. Mmg lah akhir zaman ni masa berlalu terlalu pantas, dan rugi lah manusia kecuali yg beramal soleh dan yg mengingatkan orang lain.
Today was quite a fun day in the office - the preraya event in the office. We gave presents to the winners of the card raya competition, the deko raya & best dressed. What brings tears to eyes is the salam-salaman. Masa ni lah rasa diri ni penuh kekhilafan antara manusia, dan harapannya agar segala dosa-dosa diampunkan.
Puasa tahun ni terlalu pantas. For me, one of the reason would be having to go to class 3 nights each week, and worrying about my project papers & assignments & presentations. Byk ibadah tambahan yg tak terlaksana, tak disempurna.. One of my biggest regrets, and I pray that Allah panjangkan umur untuk ketemu ragi Ramadhan di tahun depan. Byk juga life lessons yg dapat dipelajari. Last week, got the opportunity to meet family members that suffered from the security act. I mean, by listening to the stories, and yet seeing them so strong, I was touched and appreciate my love ones more. And I was one of the happy people when I heard the news of the release of their husbands. Allah Maha Besar, Maha Berkuasa. Allahuakbar!
Class - yeah now already in the 3rd month. I am progressing too slow in my research class. I am worried, but at the same time I am lazy too! hehehe. It's just that I get tired easily lately. It must be the lack of OR no exercise. Need to change my lifestyle laaa. But, people cakap that I have managed to throw away some pounds. I guess studying and working and other things really drained me out. But, I think I am getting better at it now than before.
Other things.. it has been ups and downs. Entah lah, I really don't know. Sometimes, it is TOO beautiful, and sometimes it is TOO hard and disheartening. At this point of time, I really pray hard for the best solutions. Allah knows best. People can decide to do what they want to do, and we cannot stop them. But, we can be a better person by reacting positively when facing adversities. Moga Allah melindungi kami sekeluarga and memakbulkan doa-doa kami.
Sempena Aidilfitri tahun ni, saya nak mohon ampun dan maaf kepada semua yg mengenali. kadangkala, kita tak sedar kesilapan dan kesalahan yg telah kita lakukan, dan hanya anda dapat memaafkan. Saya bukanlah insan yg sempurna, mmg selalu melakukan kesalahan. Moga Allah memberi petunjuk untuk menjadi orang yg lebih baik. Berhati-hati di jalan raya & semoga selamat semuanya.
Today was quite a fun day in the office - the preraya event in the office. We gave presents to the winners of the card raya competition, the deko raya & best dressed. What brings tears to eyes is the salam-salaman. Masa ni lah rasa diri ni penuh kekhilafan antara manusia, dan harapannya agar segala dosa-dosa diampunkan.
Puasa tahun ni terlalu pantas. For me, one of the reason would be having to go to class 3 nights each week, and worrying about my project papers & assignments & presentations. Byk ibadah tambahan yg tak terlaksana, tak disempurna.. One of my biggest regrets, and I pray that Allah panjangkan umur untuk ketemu ragi Ramadhan di tahun depan. Byk juga life lessons yg dapat dipelajari. Last week, got the opportunity to meet family members that suffered from the security act. I mean, by listening to the stories, and yet seeing them so strong, I was touched and appreciate my love ones more. And I was one of the happy people when I heard the news of the release of their husbands. Allah Maha Besar, Maha Berkuasa. Allahuakbar!
Class - yeah now already in the 3rd month. I am progressing too slow in my research class. I am worried, but at the same time I am lazy too! hehehe. It's just that I get tired easily lately. It must be the lack of OR no exercise. Need to change my lifestyle laaa. But, people cakap that I have managed to throw away some pounds. I guess studying and working and other things really drained me out. But, I think I am getting better at it now than before.
Other things.. it has been ups and downs. Entah lah, I really don't know. Sometimes, it is TOO beautiful, and sometimes it is TOO hard and disheartening. At this point of time, I really pray hard for the best solutions. Allah knows best. People can decide to do what they want to do, and we cannot stop them. But, we can be a better person by reacting positively when facing adversities. Moga Allah melindungi kami sekeluarga and memakbulkan doa-doa kami.
Sempena Aidilfitri tahun ni, saya nak mohon ampun dan maaf kepada semua yg mengenali. kadangkala, kita tak sedar kesilapan dan kesalahan yg telah kita lakukan, dan hanya anda dapat memaafkan. Saya bukanlah insan yg sempurna, mmg selalu melakukan kesalahan. Moga Allah memberi petunjuk untuk menjadi orang yg lebih baik. Berhati-hati di jalan raya & semoga selamat semuanya.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Is it meant to be like this... forever?
well, here i am again.. after nearly 4 months AWOL. too many things happening during the period, sometimes i just forget to breath and enjoy life.
two of my very best friend got married last month. congratulations gals! i am so happy for you guys and i am sure both of you will be happy until the end with your soulmates. i pray the best for you gals and hope that your "partner in crime" will always take care of you coz you are soo special.
both of the ceremonious events make me wonder and ponder... about me, myself and I. is it fate that i am gonna stay like i am right now forever? will it actually happen to me? i totally believe in fate, jodoh, ajal & maut. but sometimes, by looking at me and looking around, it always made my mind total blank and black.
i m always sure of what i want in life & i go for it. but now, it was made clear to me that somehow i am unwanted in some people's life. how i know this? maybe words describing me uttered by specific person like sombong, bodoh, action, gedik, cibai, f***, perempuan ****, ..... and the list goes on. i know when people are angry, they say a lot of words. but to the one they say they love? i just don't get it. am i such a bad person? did i not do anything for you or sacrifice everything for you? for me, when you claim you love someone, you WILL NOT hurt them by saying bad things, even though you do not mean it. I never did that because I know how hurtful it can be even if you don't mean it.
sometimes i feel that i am always following orders. speak when you are spoken to, shut up when i say so, come and see me when i want to see you, i have no mood so nothing you can do can ease it... i don't understand it. i thought this was suppose to be a partnership, give & take and discuss. at least that was what i believe in.
i did not say that i am perfect person, hey i know there are better people out there. but, as a normal human being, i have rights not to be treated like garbage or addressed with hurtful words. it's easy equation, do you like if people calling & talk to you like that? how would you feel if someone else say mean things to you?
i never asked anything from you, just to love, care & treat me as the special one. i never ask you to change, just please not the hurtful words. i am begging for understanding here. you always made me feel being unwanted, bad and evil. i thought we should look after each other, not hurting each others with mean words...
i don't know.. i just don't know. as i said, i knew what i want since nearly 5 years ago. but just maybe, i am the one who is unwanted.
two of my very best friend got married last month. congratulations gals! i am so happy for you guys and i am sure both of you will be happy until the end with your soulmates. i pray the best for you gals and hope that your "partner in crime" will always take care of you coz you are soo special.
both of the ceremonious events make me wonder and ponder... about me, myself and I. is it fate that i am gonna stay like i am right now forever? will it actually happen to me? i totally believe in fate, jodoh, ajal & maut. but sometimes, by looking at me and looking around, it always made my mind total blank and black.
i m always sure of what i want in life & i go for it. but now, it was made clear to me that somehow i am unwanted in some people's life. how i know this? maybe words describing me uttered by specific person like sombong, bodoh, action, gedik, cibai, f***, perempuan ****, ..... and the list goes on. i know when people are angry, they say a lot of words. but to the one they say they love? i just don't get it. am i such a bad person? did i not do anything for you or sacrifice everything for you? for me, when you claim you love someone, you WILL NOT hurt them by saying bad things, even though you do not mean it. I never did that because I know how hurtful it can be even if you don't mean it.
sometimes i feel that i am always following orders. speak when you are spoken to, shut up when i say so, come and see me when i want to see you, i have no mood so nothing you can do can ease it... i don't understand it. i thought this was suppose to be a partnership, give & take and discuss. at least that was what i believe in.
i did not say that i am perfect person, hey i know there are better people out there. but, as a normal human being, i have rights not to be treated like garbage or addressed with hurtful words. it's easy equation, do you like if people calling & talk to you like that? how would you feel if someone else say mean things to you?
i never asked anything from you, just to love, care & treat me as the special one. i never ask you to change, just please not the hurtful words. i am begging for understanding here. you always made me feel being unwanted, bad and evil. i thought we should look after each other, not hurting each others with mean words...
i don't know.. i just don't know. as i said, i knew what i want since nearly 5 years ago. but just maybe, i am the one who is unwanted.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Its all about ME. Always ME.
When we talk about relationship, we always talk about give and take, understand one another or try to fill in the other's shoes. But in reality, it does not work that way. "When I lose my mood, then everything should follow my way. No excuses, no apologies or no explanation accepted whatever it is. "
Wow, I am pretty impressed with myself after all these years. I just let people ripped my heart and then mend it myself. Nobody gives a damn how I feel after being treated that way. I know, I have make mistakes, I am not perfect. But the fact that you don't give any consideration of other people's misery or troubles but only yours, it just makes me feel worthless to you.
At the end of the day, I'll always fix myself, mend myself. It made me wonder, do you even care about me at all? Or convenience?
Wow, I am pretty impressed with myself after all these years. I just let people ripped my heart and then mend it myself. Nobody gives a damn how I feel after being treated that way. I know, I have make mistakes, I am not perfect. But the fact that you don't give any consideration of other people's misery or troubles but only yours, it just makes me feel worthless to you.
At the end of the day, I'll always fix myself, mend myself. It made me wonder, do you even care about me at all? Or convenience?
Monday, March 30, 2009
Support System
Hey all, or whoever who actually read my stuff... I guess the first sentence already shows that I am not in a good mood or condition or what ever you call it.
A lot of things had happen lately that make me wonder, "what the hell I am doing????". Truly, I don't have any answers for any questions that popped in my head. I tried and tried and tried, but the response that I get is soooooo demotivating and down right ripped my entire heart into pieces. I am talking about support system, which in this case - non-existant.
Is it just me that hoped that when you care about someone, you have to be the shoulder for them to cry on, not give them more crap? Why? What did I do to deserve this treatment? There were always NO sorries, NO thank yous, NO appreciate it. But I still try to cover the feelings that I have when it happened. But today, NO shoulder to cry on when I needed it the most? Come on, I am human being and I do have feelings. No shoulder is one thing, but to continue to make me feel crapier than before? That's just cruel. Plain cruel.
I don't know why. I've tried everything to make things better. I did everything I cud to make everything fine, comfortable and do whatever been asked of me, even did go extra miles to ensure things happen. At the end of the day, NONE is appreciated. Maybe I am just dead beat. I am too tired being ignored and not appreciated. I need my shoulder to cry on, why can't just you be that some times when I need it the most?
A lot of things had happen lately that make me wonder, "what the hell I am doing????". Truly, I don't have any answers for any questions that popped in my head. I tried and tried and tried, but the response that I get is soooooo demotivating and down right ripped my entire heart into pieces. I am talking about support system, which in this case - non-existant.
Is it just me that hoped that when you care about someone, you have to be the shoulder for them to cry on, not give them more crap? Why? What did I do to deserve this treatment? There were always NO sorries, NO thank yous, NO appreciate it. But I still try to cover the feelings that I have when it happened. But today, NO shoulder to cry on when I needed it the most? Come on, I am human being and I do have feelings. No shoulder is one thing, but to continue to make me feel crapier than before? That's just cruel. Plain cruel.
I don't know why. I've tried everything to make things better. I did everything I cud to make everything fine, comfortable and do whatever been asked of me, even did go extra miles to ensure things happen. At the end of the day, NONE is appreciated. Maybe I am just dead beat. I am too tired being ignored and not appreciated. I need my shoulder to cry on, why can't just you be that some times when I need it the most?
Thursday, February 05, 2009
It's always my fault...
Well, I don't know what am I suppose to feel right now. It's a mixture of emotions that run through my veins and also a lot of buzzing in my head. I really don't understand what is wrong with the current picture, but I definitely know that something is not right.
I always believe that nobody is perfect and everybody make mistakes in their life. That's why I always go for the positive side of people rather than dwelling on people's mistakes and disadvantages. Forgiveness is like a keyword in my life. Everybody deserves a chance to make things right. I believe that...
But when people decides that the best action to PUNISH mistakes are by doing back the same thing to the original person who made the mistakes, I'm totally lost in my thoughts. All things considered, I concluded that these are the things that you could not control:- what other people wants to do, what other people think & other people mindset, mentality & attitude towards some issues.
The bottom line is I am pretty frustrated and sad of what had happened. Hey, I am not perfect, I know that. But so are you. If other people can accept others' fault, why can't you? But, who am I to decide what you want out of your life. It's always gonna be my fault, I know. Because to you how I feel and what I say is no value to you. How unfortunate. Very unfortunate.
But I think I am managing this better than before. There are less than 10 days before I am given the opportunity of my life to visit one of the most magical place in the whole world. And that is more important that what I am feeling right now. If people does not care, Allah surely loves me to have given me this rezeki to go there. And that is more important than anything. So I am trying to take what had happened as part of the challenge Allah gives me to be more stronger and to give me more time to prepare myself before I am at His special place. I need to prepare myself, I need to strengthen my inner beliefs. May the visit and doa gives me strength and answers that I really need in order to continue my life journey. If you think that I am not good enuf or I am error-prone or I am not valuable and important in your life, it is ok. It's hurting me, but it is still OK. Because I always believe good things happen to good people and strongly belief Allah will always love His servants no matter what....
I always believe that nobody is perfect and everybody make mistakes in their life. That's why I always go for the positive side of people rather than dwelling on people's mistakes and disadvantages. Forgiveness is like a keyword in my life. Everybody deserves a chance to make things right. I believe that...
But when people decides that the best action to PUNISH mistakes are by doing back the same thing to the original person who made the mistakes, I'm totally lost in my thoughts. All things considered, I concluded that these are the things that you could not control:- what other people wants to do, what other people think & other people mindset, mentality & attitude towards some issues.
The bottom line is I am pretty frustrated and sad of what had happened. Hey, I am not perfect, I know that. But so are you. If other people can accept others' fault, why can't you? But, who am I to decide what you want out of your life. It's always gonna be my fault, I know. Because to you how I feel and what I say is no value to you. How unfortunate. Very unfortunate.
But I think I am managing this better than before. There are less than 10 days before I am given the opportunity of my life to visit one of the most magical place in the whole world. And that is more important that what I am feeling right now. If people does not care, Allah surely loves me to have given me this rezeki to go there. And that is more important than anything. So I am trying to take what had happened as part of the challenge Allah gives me to be more stronger and to give me more time to prepare myself before I am at His special place. I need to prepare myself, I need to strengthen my inner beliefs. May the visit and doa gives me strength and answers that I really need in order to continue my life journey. If you think that I am not good enuf or I am error-prone or I am not valuable and important in your life, it is ok. It's hurting me, but it is still OK. Because I always believe good things happen to good people and strongly belief Allah will always love His servants no matter what....
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
Happy Happy 2009!
Hieya All... Time flies. We are already in the 5th day of 2009! Gosh, is that so.. which means I haven't been writing for about 3 months plus. Tsk, this laziness has got to stop.
Reviewing 2008 - It was not a bad year.. but lotsa things happened in 2008. Things that made me more mature and value life more. Big items.. I bought a house in 2008 and finally in december i got the keys. :) In 2008, I learn more and more about people around me and basically about myself.
Hopes for 2009 - Well, this year I want to be a much better person that previous year, especially a better servant to Allah swt. I have done a lot of misdeeds in the past, and I really hope that I will improve and be forgiven. This year, personally I want to start decorating my house, try to start back on my study plans and resolve my issues of heart. I really hope this is the year where everything will fall into place.. Ameen..
okeh, I've started my blog for 2009! This is a good start.
Reviewing 2008 - It was not a bad year.. but lotsa things happened in 2008. Things that made me more mature and value life more. Big items.. I bought a house in 2008 and finally in december i got the keys. :) In 2008, I learn more and more about people around me and basically about myself.
Hopes for 2009 - Well, this year I want to be a much better person that previous year, especially a better servant to Allah swt. I have done a lot of misdeeds in the past, and I really hope that I will improve and be forgiven. This year, personally I want to start decorating my house, try to start back on my study plans and resolve my issues of heart. I really hope this is the year where everything will fall into place.. Ameen..
okeh, I've started my blog for 2009! This is a good start.
Monday, September 15, 2008
It's Monday Morning
How should I start? Where should I start? I don't even know how I am currently feeling. It's just that there is this big throbbing pain in my chest. It's like something is not right and I am out of my wits to solve it.
I thought things should smooth sail from the last time. It was suppose to be easier when things are said and discussed. But why do I feel it is not? It's like the weight of the world is upon me, and I am not allowed to do mistakes. Not Allowed, no room for discussion, end of story. Hey, I am not saying I am an angel, but a little bit of understanding and coaching would helped better.
Last two weeks was great, I was very very happy like I never felt before. I felt like the pricess in the fairy tales that I used to worship. I did not expect that I cud feel that happy before. Alhamdulillah, I did. Sometimes I thought, was dis a dream? And kept remind myself that it is not. I was genuinely happy and grateful to Allah for giving me the opportunity to feel like this.
Maybe, the fact that I am feeling that the happiness slipping away made me feel like this now. I am just hoping and praying hard that it is not true, it is just a blip. A small blip kamy, the happy thots and feelings will come back.. I hope coz I can't bear feeling like this. If I am the source of the blip, I wish I could turn back time and make it better. If only...
I thought things should smooth sail from the last time. It was suppose to be easier when things are said and discussed. But why do I feel it is not? It's like the weight of the world is upon me, and I am not allowed to do mistakes. Not Allowed, no room for discussion, end of story. Hey, I am not saying I am an angel, but a little bit of understanding and coaching would helped better.
Last two weeks was great, I was very very happy like I never felt before. I felt like the pricess in the fairy tales that I used to worship. I did not expect that I cud feel that happy before. Alhamdulillah, I did. Sometimes I thought, was dis a dream? And kept remind myself that it is not. I was genuinely happy and grateful to Allah for giving me the opportunity to feel like this.
Maybe, the fact that I am feeling that the happiness slipping away made me feel like this now. I am just hoping and praying hard that it is not true, it is just a blip. A small blip kamy, the happy thots and feelings will come back.. I hope coz I can't bear feeling like this. If I am the source of the blip, I wish I could turn back time and make it better. If only...
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
9 Ramadhan.. Time flies..
How time flies, it is already the 9th day of Ramadhan... Banyak lagi yg tak terbuat in terms of amal ibadah. Today went to Ceramah Ramadhan. Ustaz Dasuki was the speaker. The thing is the gist was simple - about sahur, puasa, berbuka puasa & tarawikh. But it made me realize I am so far from fulfilling the perfect score of Ramadhan. As he said, two things to be taken care: taking care of the physical puasa & taking care of the Pahala Puasa. There's this one part where he sang the zikir, it was so touching and hit me in the heart, my eyes was filled with water. I really do hope to be a better person after getting out of the Ramadhan Academy.
Hem. I gotta go. Will update later.
Hem. I gotta go. Will update later.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
It has been 7 months, 16 days since I last blog..
Well, it has been that long. A lot had happened in my life since then. Too many I guess coz I don't know where to start. Ada orang siap kutuk2 dah pasal blog yang tak berjalan nieh..:) so I guess, I'll just fastforward my life and share key highlites - haha, cam la glamer sangat.
Work - Still working at the same department & division in Proton Edar. Guess if you ask my family, they would not be able to tell what is my current job is. I am actually managing a department - Customer Satisfaction Index & Customer Database. So, in a nutshell, what we do is gauging customer satisfaction for our product, sales outlets & service outlets, retention activities with customers and looking after customer database & CIC system that is currently being used in our call center. Well, work is OK, I guess. I am currently enjoying what I do and the group of people in my team is great! My team just expanded - to 14 pax now. I am still adjusting to the bigger number and still trying to find the best formula to manage and coach the team. Mid year review is coming up end of this month - hopefully everything is on track. Ameen...
New office laptop - still under work. Got a new one after 5 years. Was difficult to say good bye to the DELL.
Holidays - Hem, this year I have been managing my Annual Leave better. Few more days from 2007 to be utilized! Last July went to Manila with my folks & sister. It was a fun trip and made me appreciate my country more and more and more. Lain-lain tuh jalan-jalan biasa ajer la. Last month took 3 days leave yang betul2 leave, sbb tak datang office. Heh.
The big 3-0! - Yeah guys, crossed the 3-0 line last two weeks. What I wished for? To still achieve few goals in life yang belum achieve.... and of course to be a better person and better hamba-Nya. Ni akan bukak tajuk spesel Big 3-0! hehe. Yang menarik tahun ni, sambut the birthday with my 1 year old nephew, so orang yg datang tuh terpaksa bawak adiah for the mak long also.. hahaha. nice trick anyway, can still do that for another 10 years or so, kan hariz??
New hobbies - Start taking kick-boxing classes and found that I love it. Actually it is part of my regime to lose weight. Ouch, losing weight is part of my target for the last 4 months of this year. All the stress has made me heavier, ouch! Blame it on the stress hahaha.
New challenge (stories of the heart) - for the past 3-4 days, something had happened that impacted me so. I am still in awe or disbelief or anything in the same meaning of those words. But, one thing is for sure, I have to decide the best thing for myself and everyone too. Insya Allah.. this challenge will pass in the best way it could. I am praying hard for it.
Will blog again soon.. I hope.
Work - Still working at the same department & division in Proton Edar. Guess if you ask my family, they would not be able to tell what is my current job is. I am actually managing a department - Customer Satisfaction Index & Customer Database. So, in a nutshell, what we do is gauging customer satisfaction for our product, sales outlets & service outlets, retention activities with customers and looking after customer database & CIC system that is currently being used in our call center. Well, work is OK, I guess. I am currently enjoying what I do and the group of people in my team is great! My team just expanded - to 14 pax now. I am still adjusting to the bigger number and still trying to find the best formula to manage and coach the team. Mid year review is coming up end of this month - hopefully everything is on track. Ameen...
New office laptop - still under work. Got a new one after 5 years. Was difficult to say good bye to the DELL.
Holidays - Hem, this year I have been managing my Annual Leave better. Few more days from 2007 to be utilized! Last July went to Manila with my folks & sister. It was a fun trip and made me appreciate my country more and more and more. Lain-lain tuh jalan-jalan biasa ajer la. Last month took 3 days leave yang betul2 leave, sbb tak datang office. Heh.
The big 3-0! - Yeah guys, crossed the 3-0 line last two weeks. What I wished for? To still achieve few goals in life yang belum achieve.... and of course to be a better person and better hamba-Nya. Ni akan bukak tajuk spesel Big 3-0! hehe. Yang menarik tahun ni, sambut the birthday with my 1 year old nephew, so orang yg datang tuh terpaksa bawak adiah for the mak long also.. hahaha. nice trick anyway, can still do that for another 10 years or so, kan hariz??
New hobbies - Start taking kick-boxing classes and found that I love it. Actually it is part of my regime to lose weight. Ouch, losing weight is part of my target for the last 4 months of this year. All the stress has made me heavier, ouch! Blame it on the stress hahaha.
New challenge (stories of the heart) - for the past 3-4 days, something had happened that impacted me so. I am still in awe or disbelief or anything in the same meaning of those words. But, one thing is for sure, I have to decide the best thing for myself and everyone too. Insya Allah.. this challenge will pass in the best way it could. I am praying hard for it.
Will blog again soon.. I hope.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I've been waiting, and waiting....and hungry too...
Hey guys. I am still in the office and feeling so damn hungry rite now. I think I am being punished rite now. Lapar....
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Happy New Year 1428H
1 Muharram Detik Permulaan, Perkiraan tahun Islam Hijrah, Perpindahan Nabi dan umat Islam, Dari kota Mekah ke kota Madinah.... I luv this nasyid. Sorry peeps for keeping quiet and keeping low profile. Times are crazy right now and my life is full of everything and anything. Haha.
In office rite now. Trying to get some senses and finish my work, yg dah overflowing. I got this big event coming up and the heat is on me, as the event manager. So, today yg cuti ni, got to make this pit stop in office to finish non-event related items due to be submitted tomorrow. Argghhh.. penat betul.
2008 & 1428H ... tahun masihi dan hijrah yg baru. I guess a lot of people start doing their azam tahun baru and all, rite? Actually, I wanted to write my 2007 post-mortem... tapi rasa cam blocked lak, maybe in other post kot.. So let see what i wish i cud achieve this year:-
1. Insan & hamba Allah yang cemerlang dalam sahsiah, akhlak, pengabdian, ibadahnya
2. To further excel in my career
3. To excel in my relationship and wish for happy endings...
4. Sambung PHD....
5. To give more to people
6. BETTER PERSON, LOVE, NO HATE
So far, I've started 'mengajar' few of my colleagues in Basic English. I really salute their effort to improve themselves. Not that I am damn good in English, I just hope it will help others. It did helped me too so far! I did not know I can teach. Hehehe. So far after 2 classes, so good.
Today, I went to look-look at this potential house of mine. Hehe, berangan. Went wif my special someone at Alam Budiman. The house is great, bit far though. But, I think I am interested. So far ada good indicator from Pa & Ma. Hope this one also materialized.
Ok geng, the weather look like raining. I am going to complete this last conversation and head home.
Lastly, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
In office rite now. Trying to get some senses and finish my work, yg dah overflowing. I got this big event coming up and the heat is on me, as the event manager. So, today yg cuti ni, got to make this pit stop in office to finish non-event related items due to be submitted tomorrow. Argghhh.. penat betul.
2008 & 1428H ... tahun masihi dan hijrah yg baru. I guess a lot of people start doing their azam tahun baru and all, rite? Actually, I wanted to write my 2007 post-mortem... tapi rasa cam blocked lak, maybe in other post kot.. So let see what i wish i cud achieve this year:-
1. Insan & hamba Allah yang cemerlang dalam sahsiah, akhlak, pengabdian, ibadahnya
2. To further excel in my career
3. To excel in my relationship and wish for happy endings...
4. Sambung PHD....
5. To give more to people
6. BETTER PERSON, LOVE, NO HATE
So far, I've started 'mengajar' few of my colleagues in Basic English. I really salute their effort to improve themselves. Not that I am damn good in English, I just hope it will help others. It did helped me too so far! I did not know I can teach. Hehehe. So far after 2 classes, so good.
Today, I went to look-look at this potential house of mine. Hehe, berangan. Went wif my special someone at Alam Budiman. The house is great, bit far though. But, I think I am interested. So far ada good indicator from Pa & Ma. Hope this one also materialized.
Ok geng, the weather look like raining. I am going to complete this last conversation and head home.
Lastly, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
No title
I am still thinking what to write. Have been writing and deleting and staring the posting section for quite some time...... HELP!
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Life is like a box of chocolates...
Sorry Forrest Gump, I just gotta quote you. Sorry guys, I know it has been a while in this see-saw life of mine. Lotsa things happenned during this past half month; work, open house, Bangkok trip, roller-coster emotional ride.. sigh!
Sometimes I feel so mundane at work. There are lot of things to be done, but little motivation to complete them. I dunno why, but maybe my EQ's strength is running thin lately. It's got to be influenced with my crappy emotional ride lately. It is really affecting me mentally and also successfully trying to ruin my body functions and health too.. Phew.. that's worrying rite?
We had our open house on the 28th October. It was very joyous and meriah event. Lots of people came. Thanks friends..:). That day was a sweet day for me too and very memorable. The food tak cukup.. imagine that. Adik and Aliff had to purchase food outside to cater to the invitees who came later in the evening. At the end of the day, I was damn tired! But I had fun as always.
I just got back from my 3 days trip to Bangkok. Actually, I tumpang my dad's conference thingy there. Saved bucks for accomodation. It was a totally shopping trip. I am proud of myself coz I managed to plan my money accordingly. My dad was kind enough to sponsor 1/2 for a new suit for me. Thanks Pa. The most amazing thing is that me and mama walked a lot there! Thank god for the gym sessions, it really gave me energy and stamina. Another new adventure was the 1 hour whole body Thai massage. Fuh, mmg gempak to actually experience my tangan and kaki lipat into half! hehehe.. it was nice and supposedly improve my blood circulation.
I don't think I have had a proper and nice rest since the open house. Feeling tired lately and sleep deprived. It's kind of hard to get a proper night sleep lately. I hope this is a temporary thing or phase of my life coz I really need to be happy, healthy and chirpy. hahaha..
Roller-coaster emotional ride of mine.. What to write aaa? Ntah la, I guess I'm not in a healthy emotional state right now as a results of some sequence of events. It feels like, I have tried and tried and tried very very hard to satisfy and make some people happy, yet, NADDAAAA.. no use. I have given EVERYTHING within my control, but it seemed that that is just NOT GOOD enough for some people. Maybe I am just not good enough for them. I know that I am not a perfect person, but hey, who is? For me, we just got to face everyday with our best effort, work hard, play hard and pray even harder. Nobody is perfect, we got to accept people as they are. I think I did, but somehow along the line people did not. Life is fun and happy when we tolerate each other and forget and forgive. Tak pe lah, I just hope and pray, that what ever that other people decide to do or treat people, it will give them happiness and joy as they wanted it. As for me, I just have to learn to accept things, to mend my broken spirit and entertain myself so that I can continue my days not feeling angry or sad. My feelings not important to some people, only theirs are.
Now. sitting in front of my notebook and updating this. Feeling rite now? Sleepy, tired, sad, confused. Listening to Anuar Zain. What am I babling about??? Heheh.. sorry folks, I am just feeling crappy. Ok lah, got tonnes of work to do, and still wondering how to start.
Have a nice day people!
Sometimes I feel so mundane at work. There are lot of things to be done, but little motivation to complete them. I dunno why, but maybe my EQ's strength is running thin lately. It's got to be influenced with my crappy emotional ride lately. It is really affecting me mentally and also successfully trying to ruin my body functions and health too.. Phew.. that's worrying rite?
We had our open house on the 28th October. It was very joyous and meriah event. Lots of people came. Thanks friends..:). That day was a sweet day for me too and very memorable. The food tak cukup.. imagine that. Adik and Aliff had to purchase food outside to cater to the invitees who came later in the evening. At the end of the day, I was damn tired! But I had fun as always.
I just got back from my 3 days trip to Bangkok. Actually, I tumpang my dad's conference thingy there. Saved bucks for accomodation. It was a totally shopping trip. I am proud of myself coz I managed to plan my money accordingly. My dad was kind enough to sponsor 1/2 for a new suit for me. Thanks Pa. The most amazing thing is that me and mama walked a lot there! Thank god for the gym sessions, it really gave me energy and stamina. Another new adventure was the 1 hour whole body Thai massage. Fuh, mmg gempak to actually experience my tangan and kaki lipat into half! hehehe.. it was nice and supposedly improve my blood circulation.
I don't think I have had a proper and nice rest since the open house. Feeling tired lately and sleep deprived. It's kind of hard to get a proper night sleep lately. I hope this is a temporary thing or phase of my life coz I really need to be happy, healthy and chirpy. hahaha..
Roller-coaster emotional ride of mine.. What to write aaa? Ntah la, I guess I'm not in a healthy emotional state right now as a results of some sequence of events. It feels like, I have tried and tried and tried very very hard to satisfy and make some people happy, yet, NADDAAAA.. no use. I have given EVERYTHING within my control, but it seemed that that is just NOT GOOD enough for some people. Maybe I am just not good enough for them. I know that I am not a perfect person, but hey, who is? For me, we just got to face everyday with our best effort, work hard, play hard and pray even harder. Nobody is perfect, we got to accept people as they are. I think I did, but somehow along the line people did not. Life is fun and happy when we tolerate each other and forget and forgive. Tak pe lah, I just hope and pray, that what ever that other people decide to do or treat people, it will give them happiness and joy as they wanted it. As for me, I just have to learn to accept things, to mend my broken spirit and entertain myself so that I can continue my days not feeling angry or sad. My feelings not important to some people, only theirs are.
Now. sitting in front of my notebook and updating this. Feeling rite now? Sleepy, tired, sad, confused. Listening to Anuar Zain. What am I babling about??? Heheh.. sorry folks, I am just feeling crappy. Ok lah, got tonnes of work to do, and still wondering how to start.
Have a nice day people!
Friday, October 19, 2007
Affinity in the Next Life (Andy Lau)
Someone dedicated this song to me... It is a beautiful love song, but a sad one too....Still figuring out the meaning behind it....
Searching to vanish in a noiseless, restless night
I can never find my memories
Can't find the truth that has been forgotten
A lifetime and a world has passed, little by little you've abandoned me
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing you
Perhaps separating is not easy, perhaps loving devotedly is not possible
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing myself
Love is deep but affinity is shallow, it's not satisfactory; you and I know how to cherish it
We can only wait until within the next life
To set foot on the beginning of our mutual story again
Life by life, world by world, in an endless dream
Occasionally going over my journal
Going over the story between you and I
Piece by piece, these memories, these memories already have no meaning
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing you
Perhaps separating is not easy, perhaps loving devotedly is not possible
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing myself
We can only wait until within the next life
To set foot on the beginning of our mutual story again
Searching to vanish in a noiseless, restless night
I can never find my memories
Can't find the truth that has been forgotten
A lifetime and a world has passed, little by little you've abandoned me
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing you
Perhaps separating is not easy, perhaps loving devotedly is not possible
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing myself
Love is deep but affinity is shallow, it's not satisfactory; you and I know how to cherish it
We can only wait until within the next life
To set foot on the beginning of our mutual story again
Life by life, world by world, in an endless dream
Occasionally going over my journal
Going over the story between you and I
Piece by piece, these memories, these memories already have no meaning
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing you
Perhaps separating is not easy, perhaps loving devotedly is not possible
Suffering, sorrow, heartache, bitter hate, painfully losing myself
We can only wait until within the next life
To set foot on the beginning of our mutual story again
360 degrees of Life
Hiyaa good people! Life sure is a tricky, mysterious yet fun thing. I learnt yesterday that sometimes, or most of the times, some decision or event can still make a "U-Turn", even at the end of it. That's the beauty and one of the mystery of the world... I guess.
I guess for me now is to accept things as it happens and learn the most from it. Take it day by day and Insya Allah, by a simple twist of fate and ketentuan-Nya, ada sinar dihujung jalan. Yang penting, we have to enjoy what we do and do what we enjoy. You can have your cake and eat it too! Just need adjustments plus good attitude.
As my dearest told me yesterday and I quote, it's not about your way or my way, we have to create OUR OWN WAY. Yes, that is the way, and I hope we could actually do that. The word is COMPROMISE, people.
Oklah, gotta split. Laterzzzz...
I guess for me now is to accept things as it happens and learn the most from it. Take it day by day and Insya Allah, by a simple twist of fate and ketentuan-Nya, ada sinar dihujung jalan. Yang penting, we have to enjoy what we do and do what we enjoy. You can have your cake and eat it too! Just need adjustments plus good attitude.
As my dearest told me yesterday and I quote, it's not about your way or my way, we have to create OUR OWN WAY. Yes, that is the way, and I hope we could actually do that. The word is COMPROMISE, people.
Oklah, gotta split. Laterzzzz...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Harian Metro: Usah Lihat Rupa, Harta
Guys, I kinda like this article becoz I cud relate to it soooo much.. So, I decided to post it:
MELESTARIKAN cinta antara pasangan memang mudah jika tahu caranya. Cinta antara pasangan, ada yang sehaluan bahkan tidak kurang yang mengundang banyak masalah dalam perhubungan.Ukuran cinta seseorang wanita bukan bersandarkan pada rupa atau harta semata-mata. Ketulusan, pandai berkomunikasi, prihatin dan sikap mengambil berat lelaki mampu mencair hati golongan hawa.Namun, adakah semua lelaki memahami naluri halus wanita? Kebanyakan lelaki sukar menelah kehendak dan keinginan yang tersirat di hati jika lelaki tidak belajar mengenal nilai, sikap, kehendak naluri dan psikologi wanita itu sendiri.Ada kalanya wanita menangis sendirian kerana teringatkan lelaki yang disayangi, tetapi lelaki bagaikan tidak peduli bahkan jarang menghargai kasih sayang yang dicurahkan.Fahamilah kehendak dan perasaan serta pemikiran wanita sebelum anda menilai diri wanita itu sendiri. Luhurnya sesebuah cinta bukan hanya disandarkan pada rupa namun pemahaman, penghargaan lelaki terhadap perasaan wanita, kasih sayang serta kesetiaan lebih bernilai daripada segalanya.
- Apabila seorang wanita mengatakan dia sedang bersedih, tetapi tidak menitiskan air mata, itu bermakna dia sedang menangis dalam hatinya.
- Apabila dia tidak menghiraukan anda selepas anda menyakiti hatinya, lebih baik berikan masa untuknya menenangkan hati sebelum anda meminta maaf.
- Wanita sukar mencari benda yang dia benci mengenai orang yang paling dia sayang (sebab itu ramai wanita yang patah hati apabila hubungan itu putus di tengah jalan).
- Sekiranya seorang wanita jatuh cinta dengan seorang lelaki, lelaki itu akan sentiasa ada di fikirannya walaupun ketika dia sedang keluar dengan lelaki lain.
- Apabila lelaki yang dia suka dan cinta merenung tajam ke matanya, dia akan cair seperti coklat!
- Wanita memang sukakan pujian tetapi lazimnya tidak tahu macam mana hendak menerima pujian.
- Jika anda tidak suka dengan gadis yang sukakan anda separuh mati, tolak cintanya dengan lembut. Apabila wanita sudah buat keputusan, dia akan lakukan apa saja.
- Sekiranya seorang gadis mula menjauhkan diri daripada anda selepas ditolak cintanya, biarkannya untuk seketika. Sekiranya anda masih ingin menganggap dia seorang kawan, cubalah tegur dia perlahan-lahan.
- Wanita suka meluahkan apa yang mereka rasa. Muzik, puisi, lukisan dan tulisan cara termudah mereka meluahkan perasaan.
- Jangan sesekali memberitahu perempuan yang mereka langsung tidak berguna.
- Bersikap terlalu serius boleh mematikan selera wanita.
- Apabila pertama kali lelaki yang dicintainya dalam diam memberikan tindak balas positif, misalnya menghubunginya melalui telefon, si gadis akan bersikap acuh tak acuh seolah-olah tidak berminat. Tetapi sebaik saja ganggang diletakkan, dia akan menjerit kegembiraan dan tidak sampai 10 minit, semua rakannya akan tahu berita berkenaan.
- Sekuntum senyuman memberi seribu erti bagi wanita. Jadi jangan senyum sebarangan.
- Jika anda menyukai seorang wanita, cubalah mulakan dengan persahabatan. Kemudian biarkan dia mengenali diri anda dengan lebih mendalam.
- Jika seorang wanita memberi seribu satu alasan setiap kali diajak keluar, tinggalkan dia sebab dia memang tidak berminat. Tetapi jika pada masa sama, dia menghubungi anda atau menunggu panggilan daripada anda, teruskan usaha memikatnya.
- Jangan sesekali mengagak apa yang dirasakannya. Tanya dirinya sendiri.
- Selepas seorang gadis jatuh cinta, dia akan sering tertanya-tanya, mengapa tidak bertemu dengan lelaki itu lebih awal.
- Kalau kamu masih tercari-cari cara paling romantik untuk memikat si gadis, rajinkan tangan menyelak buku cinta.
- Apabila setiap kali gambar kelas keluar, benda pertama yang dicari wanita ialah siapa yang berdiri di sebelah buah hatinya kemudian barulah dirinya sendiri.
- Bekas teman lelaki akan sentiasa ada di fikirannya tetapi lelaki yang dicintainya sekarang akan berada di tempat teristimewa iaitu di hatinya.
- Satu ucapan 'hai' saja sudah cukup menceriakan harinya.
- Teman baiknya saja yang tahu apa yang sedang dia rasa dan lalui.
- Wanita paling benci lelaki yang berbaik-baik dengan mereka semata-mata hendak menawan kawan mereka yang paling cantik.
- Cinta bermaksud kesetiaan, ambil berat, jujur dan kebahagiaan tanpa sebarang kompromi. - Semua wanita mahukan seorang lelaki yang cintakan mereka sepenuh hati.
- Senjata wanita adalah air mata!
- Wanita suka jika sesekali orang yang disayanginya mengadakan kejutan. Mereka rasa terharu dan rasa dirinya dicintai setulus hati.
- Wanita mudah jatuh hati pada lelaki yang ambil berat dan baik terhadapnya.
- Sebenarnya mudah mengambil hati wanita kerana apa yang dia mahu hanyalah perasaan dicintai dan disayangi sepenuh jiwa.
MELESTARIKAN cinta antara pasangan memang mudah jika tahu caranya. Cinta antara pasangan, ada yang sehaluan bahkan tidak kurang yang mengundang banyak masalah dalam perhubungan.Ukuran cinta seseorang wanita bukan bersandarkan pada rupa atau harta semata-mata. Ketulusan, pandai berkomunikasi, prihatin dan sikap mengambil berat lelaki mampu mencair hati golongan hawa.Namun, adakah semua lelaki memahami naluri halus wanita? Kebanyakan lelaki sukar menelah kehendak dan keinginan yang tersirat di hati jika lelaki tidak belajar mengenal nilai, sikap, kehendak naluri dan psikologi wanita itu sendiri.Ada kalanya wanita menangis sendirian kerana teringatkan lelaki yang disayangi, tetapi lelaki bagaikan tidak peduli bahkan jarang menghargai kasih sayang yang dicurahkan.Fahamilah kehendak dan perasaan serta pemikiran wanita sebelum anda menilai diri wanita itu sendiri. Luhurnya sesebuah cinta bukan hanya disandarkan pada rupa namun pemahaman, penghargaan lelaki terhadap perasaan wanita, kasih sayang serta kesetiaan lebih bernilai daripada segalanya.
- Apabila seorang wanita mengatakan dia sedang bersedih, tetapi tidak menitiskan air mata, itu bermakna dia sedang menangis dalam hatinya.
- Apabila dia tidak menghiraukan anda selepas anda menyakiti hatinya, lebih baik berikan masa untuknya menenangkan hati sebelum anda meminta maaf.
- Wanita sukar mencari benda yang dia benci mengenai orang yang paling dia sayang (sebab itu ramai wanita yang patah hati apabila hubungan itu putus di tengah jalan).
- Sekiranya seorang wanita jatuh cinta dengan seorang lelaki, lelaki itu akan sentiasa ada di fikirannya walaupun ketika dia sedang keluar dengan lelaki lain.
- Apabila lelaki yang dia suka dan cinta merenung tajam ke matanya, dia akan cair seperti coklat!
- Wanita memang sukakan pujian tetapi lazimnya tidak tahu macam mana hendak menerima pujian.
- Jika anda tidak suka dengan gadis yang sukakan anda separuh mati, tolak cintanya dengan lembut. Apabila wanita sudah buat keputusan, dia akan lakukan apa saja.
- Sekiranya seorang gadis mula menjauhkan diri daripada anda selepas ditolak cintanya, biarkannya untuk seketika. Sekiranya anda masih ingin menganggap dia seorang kawan, cubalah tegur dia perlahan-lahan.
- Wanita suka meluahkan apa yang mereka rasa. Muzik, puisi, lukisan dan tulisan cara termudah mereka meluahkan perasaan.
- Jangan sesekali memberitahu perempuan yang mereka langsung tidak berguna.
- Bersikap terlalu serius boleh mematikan selera wanita.
- Apabila pertama kali lelaki yang dicintainya dalam diam memberikan tindak balas positif, misalnya menghubunginya melalui telefon, si gadis akan bersikap acuh tak acuh seolah-olah tidak berminat. Tetapi sebaik saja ganggang diletakkan, dia akan menjerit kegembiraan dan tidak sampai 10 minit, semua rakannya akan tahu berita berkenaan.
- Sekuntum senyuman memberi seribu erti bagi wanita. Jadi jangan senyum sebarangan.
- Jika anda menyukai seorang wanita, cubalah mulakan dengan persahabatan. Kemudian biarkan dia mengenali diri anda dengan lebih mendalam.
- Jika seorang wanita memberi seribu satu alasan setiap kali diajak keluar, tinggalkan dia sebab dia memang tidak berminat. Tetapi jika pada masa sama, dia menghubungi anda atau menunggu panggilan daripada anda, teruskan usaha memikatnya.
- Jangan sesekali mengagak apa yang dirasakannya. Tanya dirinya sendiri.
- Selepas seorang gadis jatuh cinta, dia akan sering tertanya-tanya, mengapa tidak bertemu dengan lelaki itu lebih awal.
- Kalau kamu masih tercari-cari cara paling romantik untuk memikat si gadis, rajinkan tangan menyelak buku cinta.
- Apabila setiap kali gambar kelas keluar, benda pertama yang dicari wanita ialah siapa yang berdiri di sebelah buah hatinya kemudian barulah dirinya sendiri.
- Bekas teman lelaki akan sentiasa ada di fikirannya tetapi lelaki yang dicintainya sekarang akan berada di tempat teristimewa iaitu di hatinya.
- Satu ucapan 'hai' saja sudah cukup menceriakan harinya.
- Teman baiknya saja yang tahu apa yang sedang dia rasa dan lalui.
- Wanita paling benci lelaki yang berbaik-baik dengan mereka semata-mata hendak menawan kawan mereka yang paling cantik.
- Cinta bermaksud kesetiaan, ambil berat, jujur dan kebahagiaan tanpa sebarang kompromi. - Semua wanita mahukan seorang lelaki yang cintakan mereka sepenuh hati.
- Senjata wanita adalah air mata!
- Wanita suka jika sesekali orang yang disayanginya mengadakan kejutan. Mereka rasa terharu dan rasa dirinya dicintai setulus hati.
- Wanita mudah jatuh hati pada lelaki yang ambil berat dan baik terhadapnya.
- Sebenarnya mudah mengambil hati wanita kerana apa yang dia mahu hanyalah perasaan dicintai dan disayangi sepenuh jiwa.
Selamat Hari Raya Everyone! Dalam tawa, ada tangisan..
Salam Aidilfitri to all the people out there!! Hope this Hari Raya was a great one and a happy one for all of you. I will be updating my Raya log in another post, but in this one, I want to talk about something else... What happened before Aidilfitri....
I don't even know how to start, and I don't even know what I am feeling rite now. Things are kinda dazed and blurry for me. I feel sad, hurt, relieved, depressed and many mixed feelings rite now.Three guesses.... yeah guys, someone broke my heart...
At this point of time, I am still trying to think whether is this how it felt when someone dear to you breaks your heart? Is it because I am in denial? Or is it because I already accepted what had happened? Or is it because things are not resolved as I thought it is?
Why do people have to be so mean in breakin' people's heart? Duh?? Hehe.. of coz they do. Entahlah, maybe its because if I am THAT person, I wouldn't want to hurt people's feelings. I am a peacemaker, not a warmaker (is there such word???). If I am not dear to you anymore, just say it in simple words, not hurtful ones.
Entahla guys, sometimes I just wonder, what is wrong with me?? People around me say, there is nothing wrong, you are not on the losing side. Betul ker? If so, why am I hurting??
At the end of the day, kita kene pegang ni.. Ajal, maut, jodoh telah ditentukan-Nya. Allah swt dah tulis jalan hidup Kamilah Muhammad Abdull Jamil. Insya Allah, di sebalik musibah ini, ada satu ketentuan dan hikmah yang telah ditentukan-Nya. I always believe, Good things happen to good people. And I will try my best melalui zaman keperitan ini, dan menanti sinar di hujung jalan sana..
As my dearest friend told me after this tragedy, Kamy Good Girl...Dia tough! Insya Allah my friend.. I will try my best. I will be 100% Ok soon..with my good support system, my positive attitude and doa berterusan. Dengan izin-Nya, I will be A BETTER and more successful person coz what had happened for the past 2 years is not a waste at all, tapi satu PENGALAMAN yang amat berharga buat insan bernama KAMILAH MUHAMMAD ABDULL JAMIL.
I don't even know how to start, and I don't even know what I am feeling rite now. Things are kinda dazed and blurry for me. I feel sad, hurt, relieved, depressed and many mixed feelings rite now.Three guesses.... yeah guys, someone broke my heart...
At this point of time, I am still trying to think whether is this how it felt when someone dear to you breaks your heart? Is it because I am in denial? Or is it because I already accepted what had happened? Or is it because things are not resolved as I thought it is?
Why do people have to be so mean in breakin' people's heart? Duh?? Hehe.. of coz they do. Entahlah, maybe its because if I am THAT person, I wouldn't want to hurt people's feelings. I am a peacemaker, not a warmaker (is there such word???). If I am not dear to you anymore, just say it in simple words, not hurtful ones.
Entahla guys, sometimes I just wonder, what is wrong with me?? People around me say, there is nothing wrong, you are not on the losing side. Betul ker? If so, why am I hurting??
At the end of the day, kita kene pegang ni.. Ajal, maut, jodoh telah ditentukan-Nya. Allah swt dah tulis jalan hidup Kamilah Muhammad Abdull Jamil. Insya Allah, di sebalik musibah ini, ada satu ketentuan dan hikmah yang telah ditentukan-Nya. I always believe, Good things happen to good people. And I will try my best melalui zaman keperitan ini, dan menanti sinar di hujung jalan sana..
As my dearest friend told me after this tragedy, Kamy Good Girl...Dia tough! Insya Allah my friend.. I will try my best. I will be 100% Ok soon..with my good support system, my positive attitude and doa berterusan. Dengan izin-Nya, I will be A BETTER and more successful person coz what had happened for the past 2 years is not a waste at all, tapi satu PENGALAMAN yang amat berharga buat insan bernama KAMILAH MUHAMMAD ABDULL JAMIL.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Monday.. Oh my, is it October already?
Aiyah, how fast time flies. Suddenly it is the tenth month of the year, and it is only another two before the new year. So many dreams not yet achieved, so may things not yet done. I think I got to really drive myself this last two months, so that I will end 2007 with glory and feelin I have accomplished something.
The weekends were very very hectic for me. You know what, I went bowling with my training team Saturday morning. When we got there, the alley was empty and we can only hear the thumping of the bowling balls. Ehehe.. Bulan puasa ni, and yet managed to play 5 and 1/2 games. Giler betul. Bulan tak puasa mmg dah pancit. Well I guess, consistency is still the issue in my games. But, last Saturday my game was quite membanggakan where I won 4 out of 5 games. Hehehe..I guess need to sharpen the throwing skills and get more consistency.After the Ramadhan, have some tournaments lined-up. Kene la tunjuk skill skit...Next saturday, still in planning whether to practice again before the Raya break. At least, I cud bakar all the lemaks in my body.. some kind of exercise too.
Then, got my AHM breakfasting event. It was great to see and chat with some of my old friends. But somehow, seeing them with kids and expecting kids and passing wedding cards.. it was quite depressing too. Bile lah I got the chance to pass MY WEDDING CARD? I hope really soon, Insya Allah. I got to make a presentation on the AHM blog and I did. Just one hour before the event did the presentation slides completed. Hahaha.. I got to improve my planning skills...... anyway, it was fun and a success.
The Sunday - I started it as early as 7.45am. Left house for a seminar in Kajang until 1.30pm. Then, got message from mummy dearest to queue up for the FAMOUS POPIAH in section 14. So, I shoot there straight away and do my share of queuing. Imagine there is a quite long line at 2.30 pm.. Dasyat betul penangan popiah utara nieh, even the price hiked up to RM1/piece. Well, if the demand is there... naik baper ringgit pon orang beli. Then singgah KJ Pasar Juadah to get tepung pelita & karipap. Then got my new spectacles. Bukan apa, an incident happened before and I realized I don't have a spare, so I made a new one. Then when to Subang to deliver a kitten to my friend. Since it was quite near berbuka puasa, I decided to berbuka first in Subang, then start back my journey to Melawati for the buka puasa event at Wa sayang's house. Balik tuh, ngantuk giler.. terus dozzed ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
Oh ya, I fell in my bathroom. The fall was quite bad.. fortunately nothing was seriously injured. Cuma blue black all over and my right hand sakit sket. Cemerkap betul laa...hehe...it was quite a horror one too.
Aiyahh, something came up. Will update more and more.. Sementara masih ada semangat nieh..
The weekends were very very hectic for me. You know what, I went bowling with my training team Saturday morning. When we got there, the alley was empty and we can only hear the thumping of the bowling balls. Ehehe.. Bulan puasa ni, and yet managed to play 5 and 1/2 games. Giler betul. Bulan tak puasa mmg dah pancit. Well I guess, consistency is still the issue in my games. But, last Saturday my game was quite membanggakan where I won 4 out of 5 games. Hehehe..I guess need to sharpen the throwing skills and get more consistency.After the Ramadhan, have some tournaments lined-up. Kene la tunjuk skill skit...Next saturday, still in planning whether to practice again before the Raya break. At least, I cud bakar all the lemaks in my body.. some kind of exercise too.
Then, got my AHM breakfasting event. It was great to see and chat with some of my old friends. But somehow, seeing them with kids and expecting kids and passing wedding cards.. it was quite depressing too. Bile lah I got the chance to pass MY WEDDING CARD? I hope really soon, Insya Allah. I got to make a presentation on the AHM blog and I did. Just one hour before the event did the presentation slides completed. Hahaha.. I got to improve my planning skills...... anyway, it was fun and a success.
The Sunday - I started it as early as 7.45am. Left house for a seminar in Kajang until 1.30pm. Then, got message from mummy dearest to queue up for the FAMOUS POPIAH in section 14. So, I shoot there straight away and do my share of queuing. Imagine there is a quite long line at 2.30 pm.. Dasyat betul penangan popiah utara nieh, even the price hiked up to RM1/piece. Well, if the demand is there... naik baper ringgit pon orang beli. Then singgah KJ Pasar Juadah to get tepung pelita & karipap. Then got my new spectacles. Bukan apa, an incident happened before and I realized I don't have a spare, so I made a new one. Then when to Subang to deliver a kitten to my friend. Since it was quite near berbuka puasa, I decided to berbuka first in Subang, then start back my journey to Melawati for the buka puasa event at Wa sayang's house. Balik tuh, ngantuk giler.. terus dozzed ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
Oh ya, I fell in my bathroom. The fall was quite bad.. fortunately nothing was seriously injured. Cuma blue black all over and my right hand sakit sket. Cemerkap betul laa...hehe...it was quite a horror one too.
Aiyahh, something came up. Will update more and more.. Sementara masih ada semangat nieh..
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